Unwavering Faith to beat Fear this year!

Once upon a time I had faith. That faith grew and grew, and then I stumbled upon a lie. As I let that lie sit there, I pondered it. The lie, oh it was horrible. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Eventually, that lie led me down rabbit holes that filled up quickly with feelings of inadequacy and depression.

Let me tell you what. I have those moments of pure hope, and faith. It is in those moments I feel like I could move mountains.

This reminds me of a story of something that happened in Jesus last week.

Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.  When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.  Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” - Matthew 21:18-22

I'm guessing that you are wondering how this story has anything to do with my rabbit holes of fear and lies? 

See those lies led me to feeling completely alone and abandoned, which made my fear even worse. How could anyone bear to be around me, if I couldn't pull myself up by my bootstraps? How could God love me, when I let fear steal my faith? I am making that leap today. 

Okay, I've been jumping from one lily pad to another for the past few months, but today I take a huge hop and jump further, and hopefully onto solid ground. 

This verse reminds me that if I have faith and do not doubt, I can do more than wither a tree, I can move mountains. See those faith filled days, I really could move that mountain. The mountain I am going to move today is fear. 

See the same spirit in that was there when God created the word, was also inside Jesus. Guess what...that same spirit lives inside me. This plus God's wonderful love give me the ability to do great things, but what about unwavering faith. Well that comes in not pondering the lie, not following it down the rabbit hole. 


That lie filled rabbit hole leads to death and destruction. But this kind of faith leads to broken chains, and everlasting life. So today, join me as I say mountain of fear, into the ocean you must go. Oh yeah, fear, no peaking out of the ocean, for it will swallow you. 

Dear Lord, I know you love me. Yes me, I come to you in faith asking you to remove this fear. I know this fear is not of you, so may it produce no more fruit. Help me to have unwavering faith, as lies come. In Jesus Name, Amen

Song of Praise - No Longer Slaves

Sorry, I didn't mean to miss posting my Monday Song of Praise. I don't want you to miss it, so here it is. No Longer Slaves by Jonathan David & Melissa Helser.

The lyrics to this song are so powerful. So I hope that you will soak them in, and know that Jesus came to free us, from fear, we are now children of God.

Verse 1

You unravel me, with a melody
You surround me with a song
Of deliverance, from my enemies
Till all my fears are gone

Chorus

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

Verse 2

From my Mothers womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

Interlude

          

Bridge

You split the sea, so I could walk right through it
All my fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me, so I could stand and sing
I am a child of God

3 reminders of Grace found in Fearless Living

Have you ever been scared to do something because of the "what if's"?

God has really been trying to get it into me that He is bigger than my "what if's". He has convicted me of living in my "what if's", and for blaming him for leaving me stuck where I am. Well in 2016 I am going to find grace by living fearlessly, and I hope you will join me.

I just need a place to start and I'm guessing you do to. Let's start with 3 reminders of God's grace.

1. God has already written the days of your life.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. - Psalms 139:16

God loves us and gives us free will to live in faith or fear.

We must choose which one we will stand in. He knows our choice, but he is there leading us, beckoning us toward faith.

2. God has plans for your life

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

God has plans to beckon us to Him and faith in Him. Those plans offer us hope when things are bad. When Jeremiah said those words the Israelites were in the midst of the bad. They saw no hope, but God still offered them Faith of coming Hope. He offers this to each of us too.

3. God offers grace if we step in the wrong way.

When we fail, fall down, or take the wrong path we need to come back to God. Humbly asking for forgiveness.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9

God knows we are going to fail, but if we put our Faith in God he will strengthen us. Because of this, we know that when we fail; God offers us grace. For His glory isn't in us failing, but us getting back up. When you have reached rock bottom and there is no hope, there is God. God can do things no one else can providing a way out. A way to bring glory to him. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

These 3 reminders, serve us well. How, by showing us where fearless living meets grace. Because of God's love, plans and grace, we don't have to live in fear. We can boldly follow the path He is leading us down. 

In the Valley of Hopelessness: God's strength is there!

Standing in the valley, as I look around all I see is death and destruction. Surrounding me are bones. Not just any bones, these are dry bones. If I touch then they will fade away like dust. Dusty, dry bones, I've been there. I've been in situations that seem completely hopeless.


This reminds me of what Satan has been doing in my life. He is stealing my joy. He is killing my hope, and in doing so he is attempting to destroy the relationship I have with Jesus. Jesus told us this would happen.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

You are Not alone! 

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been there. Joy disappearing more each day.  My hope on life support and they are threatening to pull the plug. My desire for a relationship with the one who is watching it happen, going down the toilet.

Well if we look at the story of Ezekiel and the dry bones we find some hope for the hopeless.
God asked Ezekiel if those dry bones could live again. I'm going to ask you the same thing. Is there any chance your joy can live again? What about your hope?

Ezekiel had some smart words here in response to this question.

3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” 4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’” - Ezekiel 37:3-6

Only God knew if the bones could live again. So God told Ezekiel to prophesy that the bones would become whole, having flesh on them again. The rest of John 10:10 promises that Jesus came to give us life. I'm not talking about a hopeless life. No, he came to give us a full, hope filled life. 

This may take some faith, but God knows your future and he doesn't want you living dusty and dry. He wants to give you hope. Water filled hope!


How does God breath power into your Valley?


How do you regain your joy, your hope and your relationship with Jesus? I'm going to venture and say that you need to work this backwards.

Let's start with your relationship. You need to find your love for God, you do this by praying and spending time in the Word.  You need to trust him and his great love for you.


Next you need to pray for God to help you see His plans to prosper you. Ask him to open doors that no one can close, and close doors that are leading you away from him.

Now that you are back to building your relationship, pray that God will give you joy. That he will take whatever it is that is stealing your joy away. Ask him for strength and courage to stop following that path anymore.

What is a Christ follower to do? (Part 1)

Inside looking out By Bill Strain

I recently saw a picture posted and shared on facebook, that got me thinking about what a job description would and wouldn't look like if I worked for Jesus. I know, I do work for Jesus and the weight of what I do has taken me down a path of exhaustion. In fact I am so exhausted that I can't find the meaning to Matthew 11:28-30

 ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11

 Before I try to figure out this easy yoke and light burden, let me look at what is not involved in the job duties of a Christian.

Not Job Duties for Christians

Saving the whole world. Yeah, in case you don't realize it, Jesus already took care of this. He came here for the whole world. He came to give each and every person the opportunity to be saved.

 ¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3

 ⁷ Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. ⁸ All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. ⁹ I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.^[a] They will come in and go out, and find pasture. ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10

Judging other. Jesus came to set us free, he himself did not come to judge or condemn us. So what is it that makes us think we can serve as judge to those around us.

 ⁴⁷ “If anyone hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge that person. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world. ⁴⁸ There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; the very words I have spoken will condemn them at the last day. ⁴⁹ For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. ⁵⁰ I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” - John 12

 “Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ³ Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. - Matthew 7

If you are going to judge the way others choose to live their own life shouldn't you at least look at how you live your own. Are you being compassionate to those around you, are you taking care of the widows and the orphans?

You do realize that God himself will take care of the people who follow him, much better and with much more grace then you could even muster all by yourself. So take a load off. If Jesus himself came to save but not judge or condemn, why do we see these two things as our job. We should introduce people to the one who himself doesn't judge but comes to bring salvation, eternal like, and mounds of grace.

Well check out Part 2 to find out what a Christian Job Description should look like.

New Beginnings

Yesterday I decided to start new.  It is very scary and exhilarating all at the same time This new beginning means two things. 1. I plan to start posting again. (My goal is to make my posts more regular 2 times a month). I'm hoping to pick a specific day to post and work from that. We shall see how this works.  2. I will no longer be posting as Anna Grace. I will be posting under my real name. Ona C. I think that means you need an introduction. So here it goes.

Hello, my name is Ona, and I am unique and crazy person stuck in a stressed out brain.  I have a loving family, and a twin sister.  My twin and I started working in the church when we turned 18. Wow, I can't even believe that. I started out as a Sunday School Teacher and assisted my sister as the youth leader.  We have been doing this so long, I have been appointed as the co-youth leader.  Our youth kids love the group and the feeling of belonging so much we have yet to be successful at getting rid of them. We started a young adult group, and then I finally broke.

I had been stressed and neglecting to deal with myself and put effort into my relationship with God. I broke, I decided it was time for a break. Yeah right. I go to a small church, and while I have given up some of my duties, I have never fully walked away. My year is soon to be up and I still don't know fully what I plan to do.

My break really didn't do much to help me put effort into my relationship with God, so I started a scripture journal and a Lent reading plan through you version.  So fair it has been going good. Praise God! I hope that you will join me as I continue my journey toward understanding Grace and how much God loves me, one lesson at a time.

Boy was I wrong.

At the beginning of the year I really felt the word God wanted to work on me this year was free. Yeah I was so very wrong. How about the words, faith and patience. Yep those pretty much ruled my year.

The sad part is it hit me, like running into a wall, just a week ago. How could I have missed it for all these months? Yes, Jesus wants to free me, and he has. The chains I wear of fear don't come from him. But really the chain are from lack of faith and not being patient.

I recently read where faith was defined as love in action. That is where I fail. Faith in the unseen and things hoped for and I fail in the action part. Add in the fact that God keeps telling me to be patient.

The best example of what I am talking about is Abraham and Sarah. In Hebrews we have an awesome review of this story. Hebrews 11:8-12. Abrahm took his faith in what God had promised and set out to follow where God sent him. He went to new places, he laid with his barren wife, in hopes of having a the child he was promised. Faith in action. He isn't the only one to take faith in the unseen, following through on promises with great hope.

Patience is hard, it was never meant to be easy. If patience was easy nobody would need it. Sarah waited years before having her promised child. She even took matters into her own hand and things didn't end so well.

Which reminds me of Psalms 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early, and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. "

Patience helps us appreciate the things we receive more. I dislike being patient, but I look forward to the joy at the end of the waiting. May God pour his blessings down.

A boast in faith?

After my lesson, I was energetic. I couldn't wait to start down the new path God has for me. I've been here before and it didn't end with me following the path. The thought of when did my faith become so weak. Dear Lord, give me faith to follow you.

That prayer sounds good right. I was reading my long list of blogs and I found one that convicted me, because of my lack of faith. This blog post gave me a new view. Instead of looking up, I have started looking around, and I see that God has given me enough faith to do what He has called me to do.

In reality my faith is not at all what stops me from walking that path. It is fear. Fear that has attached itself to me. What is even worse is that I have even caught myself feeding the fear with lies. Isn't that what fear is anyway. The Bible tells us that perfect love casts out fear. The only perfect love comes from God. So when I am not following God down this new path, I'm standing maybe even living in that lie.

The faith chapter, Hebrews 11, tells of people who used their faith to step out of the boat, to take the path God had for them. They were commended for this. Jesus told a parable about the two sons, found in Matthew 21:28-32. 

In this parable the father asked both sons to go work in the fields for him. The first said no, but changed his mind and went. The second said yes, but then changed his mind and never went. I would like to say I'm standing and haven't answered. That would be nice, but I have told God yes, I will go. But I'm standing here still thinking about it.

The problem is the longer I think about the path, the longer I stand here in fear, the bigger the chance I'm going to be the second son. I don't want to be the second son, I want to be commended for my faith. I want to be an example to those who are hearing the same lies. I want them to say, if God can heal her, if he can use her, if he can help her overcome the lies, then he will do the same for me. I want God to use me to free those around me.

Dear Lord, You have given me the faith I need to overcome the lies, and to fight off the fear. Give me another opportunity to step out in faith. Use me to free those around me who have been lied to as well. Give them freedom from seeing me move. In Jesus Name, Amen

Lessons from the teacher

As a teacher in a small church I have found that I like to write curriculum. Yes, it is a challenge but it forces me to really study. I have always been told you can't teach something you don't know. So I strive to continue to learn.

I have recently started writing curriculum for a class that rotates teachers every week. There are days where I notice that  the lesson I write not only is the topic for the students; but the lesson has special meaning for the teacher as well. This is never the intent as each lesson follows some pattern that dictates the upcoming lesson.

Well this week was my turn to teach. As I was writing the lesson I noticed the topic. Have faith, God is taking care of you. Yep, this lesson was for me 100%. I know that God has my back, he also is guiding me down a path I have never been before.

At first I was so scared I prayed for a new path. God is standing their saying, come follow me. I have great plans for you. Plans to offer you a new kind of freedom. Plans for you to be the person I have made you to be. So I stand at the beginning of the path, it leads down into the unknown, but God who has my back is leading me, and who better to protect me as I venture into the unknown.

As the Casting Crowns song goes, "He's already there, at the end of my life..." may God in his infinte mercy, lead and protect me. May I in my yo-yo of faith trust Him, like Peter walking on water, but I pray I don't take my eyes off of Jesus, who walks on water.

 

Opposing opinions:

As a human I often find times where my views don't sink up with my friends, family, or even my neighbor. As a christian, I find my views different then my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Because of my leadership role in my church, I make excuses.What excuse do I make? The excuse that I don't want to bring judgement on my family, my teaching style, but most of all I don't want to bring judgement on myself. I fear my views will be seen in a negative light, by people with closed minds judging me. (The thing we aren't supposed to do).

So I don't post links to amazing blogs because they have different opinions of those around me.  I don't know if I can handle my friends opinions about me. I fear being told I can't teach, or lead in my church because my opinions are different. My role is a role I take very serious. Something I have done so long that the work I do for the Lord has taken up my identity. Almost my entire identity.

So I sit quietly, not sharing where God is ever changing my perspective. Where God is pushing me to love others as he first loved me. Where love is seen as a verb. Love is to serve others, no matter who they are, what they do or believe, just love them.  Unconditional love doesn't look at picking right and wrong out of that person, it looks at showing them love because they were created by God for a purpose, because they too are human, and loved by an almighty God.

I do believe in repentence and that through that repentence we are made whole. I also believe that there are clear lines of right and wrong, but I see so many people who just up and leave people who are doing wrong because of their behavior, or who they are.

I thank God my perspective has changed, and may people see this change in me. May he take away my fear and give me boldness to say what I feel. May love shine around me, love that comes from the Father God and his Son.

When in doubt follow Jesus' example...

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:2-11

 Jesus didn't come to condemn us...

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. - John 3:17-18

So, go now and condemn no one. Don't say that because someone sins in a way that is blatant and disrespectful they don't deserve love. Love them. Never abandon someone you disagree with, because they may be the loneliest out there, and never quarrel over matters of convictions.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. - Romans 14:1-4

Now if they are asking you to partake in the sin, then by all means run. Run fast and far away. Always ask God to help you discern what is around you, and to give you wisdom when you shouldn't be somewhere or do something.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We praise you for your love for us. That you don't condemn us for our shortcomings. Please give us the grace and wisdom to do the same.

 In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Good Samaritan

I never wanted to be the good Samaritan, because in reality I am very weak. I never wanted to get stuck having to help others when I really am not qualified, or even able, or I am just to tired from my other duties to help this person. When we hear the story of the good Samaritan we praise him for all he did.

 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ - Luke 10:30-35

Have you ever noticed that while the good Samaritan helped the hurt man, he also handed the hurt man over to someone else. The good Samaritan couldn't do everything the man needed. Let that sink in. The good Samaritan for reasons not explained in the Bible has to leave the man in another person's hands.
Let us play the maybe game. The good Samaritan had to leave because...

... of previous commitments.

...of work.

...needed to attend to his family.

All noble reasons to have to walk away, but in reality did the good Samaritan really walk away completely. No, he promised to check in. Even though he was no longer there, he didn't put the hurt man out of his mind. No, he paid for the innkeeper to be taken care of  the man. He left the man in capable hands.

We can't save the world and this parable points to the need to help others, but also to know our limitations. When we have to walk away, we can still show concern and check up on the person. This is no excuse to hand off everybody who needs help. If that person needs help and you have the knowledge, talent, and ability then you are the person to help them. By helping them you will reap the blessings, even if you don't see the blessings until you are in Heaven.

So now I understand the good Samaritan knew his limitations and kept with them. He didn't try to force himself to do anything he wasn't capable of doing. Yet he made sure the injured man was taken care of. So remember to love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself. As Jesus says this is the way of life.

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” - Luke 10:27-28

Needing grace and prayers

I really needed grace today so I borrowed a Tenth Avenue North CD from my sister. I knew a post would come out of it, but one song in particular gave me a strong desire to pray. Not for myself but for a old youth member from my church. He was one of the first students I helped lead, so I have a general attachment to him and his family. Add that his sister was my first and since she graduated a friendship has really taken off with her.

Well once becoming a teenager, he hit a stage where I didn't know where he stood, and neither did he. He believed in God but he wanted to rule his own life. I really thought that had changed as he accepted Christ this past year, but I wonder if he felt pushed into it because once again he has decided to rule over his own life.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. --1 Corinthians 6:12

 
In reality by ruling his own life he is actually becoming a slave to his own wants and desires. He is not allowing God to help him make important decisions. He is jumping the gun and searching for freedom in a world that wants to make him a slave.

I pray for him, I also pray for his parents. I fear he will end up in chains, chains that are so comfortable. In fact with given the opportunity to take communion recently he rain away. Ran from God's grace. How very sad, I have been there. I didn't want to face God because of the things I had done. So I pray for him...

Dear Lord, free him and me. While our chains are different the freedom we both want is the same. Free us from the chains that hold us.Show us your grace and give us courage not to run from your love.Draw him close to you, and remind him of the lessons he has learned. In Jesus' Holy Name. Amen.

Now I must have faith that God who loves and cares for him much more than I do. Much more than his parents, God will keep him safe and draw him back to him

Worship & Relationships

If you have ever set in church, I'm sure you have heard that Jesus sets the captives free. How you might ask? Well yesterday was not a good day for me. I definitely was moving backwards. I had no faith yesterday, I was captive to my fears, my past and present sins. I was chained up, and couldn't seem to get free. 

For the past month or so I have been hearing different things from Jeremiah, these things were so encouraging. So I figured this was God's way of telling me to read Jeremiah. I started it, but throughout reading all I can see is my sin. I'm chained up and can't seem to get free of my past, and I seem to be making the same mistake as the Israelites. God told them over and over again, repent and you will be restored, but because the prophets and priests only gave them good news they didn't believe Jeremiah's warnings. They believed they would be protected and no harm would come to them.

I believe the Israelite people kept going back to their idol because they lacked faith. See the Israelite nation was committing idolatry against God by worshiping with their neighbors, but their neighbors didn't worship the same God. Their neighbors worshiped what their own hands had made; they adorned these idols with gold and silver.  The Israelite people worshiped with their neighbors because they feared their neighbors and didn't trust that God would protect them.

This was me; I was going to church to please others. I was singing praises, but it was a hollow attempt to feel something. This made me feel empty. Why? I felt empty because everything I am was created to praise my maker. To have a relationship with him. This can be seen in Jeremiah 29:10-14. It says that God has plans for you. He has plans to do what is good for you, even when it appears to be the worst thing. He wants you to search for Him and you will find Him. Through truly finding him he will free you from captivity.

 I asked God to forgive me and to put the desire I once had back in me. He has blessed me, blessed me by continuing to draw closer to me as I draw closer to him. I have found that relationship I once had, and I don't feel empty. I know that God loves me and sees me as a treasure.

 So my prayer is that you will search for and find a relationship with God. I pray that He will remind you that He loves you, because it is in His love that you become free. The chains fall off. 

While you listen to it may it put that desire to draw closer to God and He will draw closer to you. 

Remind me Who I Am - By Jason Gray

(Chorus)
Tell me, once again who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget Who I am to You, that I belong to You, to You

Extremely long time

I know it has been an extremely long time since my last post. A lot has happened, sickness for me and my sister. Church duties arose when in my mind I wasn't ready to take them on. I'm still struggling with keeping my focus on God and not allowing Satan to scare me away from this new task.

I still struggle with God's grace, as I start to believe it is sinking in I fall backwards 10 steps and wonder if I am even lovable. Today, I know God loves me, he has great plans for me. Today, I know this.

My sister send me the following quote which is one of my favorites probably because I allow fear to dictate me life. I also have a really bad habit of not letting my light or potential fully shine for fear of making others feel inferior. But in hiding what God has made me, I am hiding the light he has put in me. The light that points back to Him, my great maker.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

Take a note for the day.  Don't fear who God made you. Don't fear that you are inadequate, and most of all don't fear your power. Because God is the one who gives you the power you have. Great power, power to make mountains move both real rocky mountains and figurative little mole hills that you find yourself dealing with every day. So accept your power and know that it points back to the one who created you. So many people in the Bible shouldn't have been able to do what they did, but when they did what God called them to do, it pointed back to Him.  We are still talking about these people (Little David comes to mind immediately).

Thank you Dear Jesus, for creating me not to be my own stumbling block, but as a hill so my light may shine bright. Thank You for allowing my light to shine so brightly it can only point back to You.  Thank You for the power You have put inside of me, the Holy Spirit that guides me. Thank You dear Lord, for desiring to use me. Help me to not shrink back so others don't feel the warmth of Your light, give me courage to be what You have called me to be, and do what You have called me to do. Liberate me from my fear and in doing so may You use me to liberate others from their fear.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

God does all things well!

I've been sitting here all morning thinking up blog post ideas then getting distracted and forgetting what they were. So I look at my phone and my daily devotion reminder was up. I've been doing a Tenth Avenue North Devotion from their CD "The Struggle". Today the topic was "You do all things well", those words in themselves when truly believed take you from sorrow to a place of amazing worship. Don't believe me? Try it.

My sister is amazed at my ability to label each week or day with a title. When basically I'm just vocalizing the lessons I'm learning. This week has been the week of fighting demons. Oh, how I have been down this road before. I like many people fight demons quite frequently.

The demons I fight are different each time but usually boil down to my inability to trust God and where he is moving me from to where he is taking me. This week has been slightly different. First I was fighting where God is trying to take me. He is definitely pushing me outside my comfort zone, but just the slight movement and I'm running backwards. So I'm trying to figure out why I am running. Is it my past? While I'm fighting these demons God decides to introduce me to demons another person is fighting.

This seems to be happening more and more through preparation of Lent and during Lent. This year, I am praying for Lent. Not that I don't pray, but I'm spending each day praying for an individual or family. Instead of praying for strength for myself I am praying for others. I am attempting to see people as God see's them. All I see around me is despair that I never saw before.

Well one day this week, while fighting my own fight. Trying to name the reason I keep running from where God is leading, I see someone else. I see their pain and how their past has truly messed them up. I know God wants to see this person move away from their past. He isn't labeling them broken, but blessed. 
Now of all things that is what I see, but their past is hanging there like a stop sign they can't get past. So I spent the day praying for this person. Praying strength and blessing on this person.

Dear Lord, thank you for your grace. Thank you that with you we can move away from our past. Please bless this person. Please take the fears of their past and fears of repeating the same mistakes away. Give this person mercy and grace as they move forward with their life. In Jesus Name, Amen

Now realize this prayer was not only for the person God laid on my heart, but is also for you, and me. May God bless you.

Trust in God, He sees the whole picture

So God wants us to trust him because he is ever present. He is in our past, with us now and is leading us into the future He already knows about. I taught a youth group lesson about how God knows the whole picture. We told the story of the last supper. While we told the story of the last supper someone was drawing something that at first appeared to be a bunch of lines.

Original Picture by TheFourthLink

During the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray him. The disciples became curious and asked who it would be. He told them it would be who he gave the bread to. Jesus gave Judas the bread and then told him to go and do what he needed to do quickly. After all of this, everyone should have known that Judas was going to betray Jesus. Did they, no! They thought that he was going to buy what was needed for the feast or was going out to help the poor. (John 13:18-30)

At the end of this story, the drawing was a full blown picture of Jesus and his disciples at the last supper. See Jesus knew the whole picture. Not only did Jesus know the whole picture then, he knows the whole picture now. He knows what we are going through, our struggles and fears. He asks that we trust him and follow where he leads.

This is something I am struggling with. See Jesus is trying to free me. Free me from my fears and asking me to follow him. He keeps showing me that he has plans to prosper me not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11 [I have seen this verse about 10 times in the past few months]). God is trying to get my attention. He has this great plan for me, but my fear is paralyzing me from moving forward. He knows that so yesterday I was reading from Chatting at the Sky blog. Emily the writer asked everyone to be courageous this weekend. I also woke up yesterday morning thinking about a video from Tenth Avenue North's video Fear is just a Lie. Add to that my pastor has been preaching on trusting God.

I have a feeling God is telling me to fear not! He wants me to take that step out of my comfort zone. I know where God is leading me he just wants me to trust him, he will protect me.

 Fear is Just a Lie

Me Weak??

 So last week I had this strong urge to send a poem I heard on the radio to my pastor. The poem Undo Me talks about how I don't really worship God anymore, and how I really desire that intimacy with my creator. It truly became my prayer through everything I have gone through. When I told my pastor this he asked me to read it in church Sunday. I'm not really looking forward to this. See I am the good girl. I have an image I feel I have to keep up (my walls). I fear the congregation will not like what they see or hear from me during this. It asks me to be totally open and vulnerable. Yeah I'm struggling with this to say the least. God has called me to be free.

I've been thinking about emailing my Pastor and telling him, I just can't. I can't be that open with these people who love me. I can't let them see me weak.  Right as I started to send the email a Tenth Avenue North song comes on Healing Begins. The very beginning speaks directly to me. "So you thought you had to keep this up. All the work you do so we think that you're good. And you can't believe it's not enough. All the walls you built up are just glass on the outside. So let 'em fall down. There's freedom waiting in the sound. When you let your walls fall to the ground. We're here now."

In my mind this is a challenge directly from God. See he is asking me to share my journey with those close to me. He is asking me to be honest and let others share in my pain and my joy. I was never meant to carry my burdens alone, but that is exactly what I have been doing. By hiding my weaknesses from others they can't see everything God is doing. They can't cry with me, give me encouragement or praise God from where he is bringing me from. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 we see that there is power in numbers. One person can help someone else much better than that person can help themselves.

I truly believe that by allow my weaknesses to be shown praise can be given to God. I also believe my testimony can be used to help those going through the same valley. So Sunday I will breath in deeply God's grace and open my heart on Sunday. May God receive all of the glory.

Healing Beings 

One Word

Oneword365.com presents the idea that we don't need resolutions that we will forget in 3 weeks. Creating lists of "to do", or "not to do" usually don't last long. The challenge is to pick one word that you want to define you and work on that word. I first heard about this and just brushed it off. The reason for such a late start I guess.

Well this week God gave me a word. It is something I have wanted for a while, but never truly defined it. So here I am going to put my word out there.

Free. Yes, I want to be free. So I googled my word to make sure it really was what I wanted. Free is defined on google as an adjective: Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes. Yep! I want to be free.

I know Jesus frees us from our sins, but I want to be free of expectations. Those of myself and others. I want to truly follow Jesus without fear of what others may say or what I feel they will say.

So this year I am going to pray, meditate, and allow God to make me free. When I start to make a decision I am going to not only pray about it, but I am also going to allow God to help me not worry what others may say or think. :-) So I am free.