Unwavering Faith to beat Fear this year!

Once upon a time I had faith. That faith grew and grew, and then I stumbled upon a lie. As I let that lie sit there, I pondered it. The lie, oh it was horrible. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Eventually, that lie led me down rabbit holes that filled up quickly with feelings of inadequacy and depression.

Let me tell you what. I have those moments of pure hope, and faith. It is in those moments I feel like I could move mountains.

This reminds me of a story of something that happened in Jesus last week.

Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.  When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.  Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” - Matthew 21:18-22

I'm guessing that you are wondering how this story has anything to do with my rabbit holes of fear and lies? 

See those lies led me to feeling completely alone and abandoned, which made my fear even worse. How could anyone bear to be around me, if I couldn't pull myself up by my bootstraps? How could God love me, when I let fear steal my faith? I am making that leap today. 

Okay, I've been jumping from one lily pad to another for the past few months, but today I take a huge hop and jump further, and hopefully onto solid ground. 

This verse reminds me that if I have faith and do not doubt, I can do more than wither a tree, I can move mountains. See those faith filled days, I really could move that mountain. The mountain I am going to move today is fear. 

See the same spirit in that was there when God created the word, was also inside Jesus. Guess what...that same spirit lives inside me. This plus God's wonderful love give me the ability to do great things, but what about unwavering faith. Well that comes in not pondering the lie, not following it down the rabbit hole. 


That lie filled rabbit hole leads to death and destruction. But this kind of faith leads to broken chains, and everlasting life. So today, join me as I say mountain of fear, into the ocean you must go. Oh yeah, fear, no peaking out of the ocean, for it will swallow you. 

Dear Lord, I know you love me. Yes me, I come to you in faith asking you to remove this fear. I know this fear is not of you, so may it produce no more fruit. Help me to have unwavering faith, as lies come. In Jesus Name, Amen

Is it time to Burn that bridge?

I once had a pastor tell me not to burn my bridges. The strange thing is that in a relationship with people, he didn't always follow that advice. I haven't seen or heard from him much since I left that church.

It was an odd situation, where my church didn't have evening services but this church did. When my church started evening services again, I felt called back to my home church. At that point, he couldn't understand why and in his own way burned a bridge that linked me to him and his church.

Fast forward 10 years and I'm still at my home church. Our lovely grace-filled pastor gave a sermon that caught my attention. It starts with God using Elijah to defeat the Baal prophets and bring his people back to him. Elijah won that battle but immediately came under attack. He feared for his life, so he ran.

God revealed himself to Elijah as that tiny soft voice, and I know that is the voice I need to listen to. See I have been going back and forth on this normal desire for community in a specific way. Yet God seems to have failed me in this area and so I run to what I believe to be safe.

The only difference is I am still standing there listening for God to be the earthquake or wind.  But God has chosen to speak to me in a still small voice, and I can't hear him. Why can't I hear him? It is because I'm still looking for the earthquake and the wind.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. - 1 Kings 19:11-13

God told Elijah to go anoint Elisha to take his place as the prophet of Israel. Elijah found Elisha plowing the fields, and he went and laid his cloak on Elisha's shoulders. Elisha knew what this meant, and  ran after Elijah. He ran to get permission to say his goodbyes, and this request was granted.

Elisha went back to his plow, killed his oxen and burned his plow to cook the meat. He gave this as food to for the people.

Elisha burned his bridges so to say. He didn't just burn the bridge. He made sure he couldn't cross that bridge anymore by slaughtering and cooking his oxen. Wow, that is some great faith. I'm am not sure if I am Elijah in this story or if I am Elisha. I want to have the faith of Elisha but fear takes over. 

God has called me to live fearlessly, and for me, burning that bridge doesn't seem to be what I wish it was. I have been living the safe life. So for me, God says to stay where I am, don't burn the bridge until he guides me to.

You may be in a different spot, maybe it is time for you to burn that bridge. Well if that is the case, and God has been calling you to burn a bridge, then here is a song that speaks to me.

On Friday I will be making a special announcement for the future of Grace 4 Me & U on my subscriber list. Not a subscriber? Sign up here. Believe me when I say, this is unexpected, but so exciting. 

3 reminders of Grace found in Fearless Living

Have you ever been scared to do something because of the "what if's"?

God has really been trying to get it into me that He is bigger than my "what if's". He has convicted me of living in my "what if's", and for blaming him for leaving me stuck where I am. Well in 2016 I am going to find grace by living fearlessly, and I hope you will join me.

I just need a place to start and I'm guessing you do to. Let's start with 3 reminders of God's grace.

1. God has already written the days of your life.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. - Psalms 139:16

God loves us and gives us free will to live in faith or fear.

We must choose which one we will stand in. He knows our choice, but he is there leading us, beckoning us toward faith.

2. God has plans for your life

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

God has plans to beckon us to Him and faith in Him. Those plans offer us hope when things are bad. When Jeremiah said those words the Israelites were in the midst of the bad. They saw no hope, but God still offered them Faith of coming Hope. He offers this to each of us too.

3. God offers grace if we step in the wrong way.

When we fail, fall down, or take the wrong path we need to come back to God. Humbly asking for forgiveness.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9

God knows we are going to fail, but if we put our Faith in God he will strengthen us. Because of this, we know that when we fail; God offers us grace. For His glory isn't in us failing, but us getting back up. When you have reached rock bottom and there is no hope, there is God. God can do things no one else can providing a way out. A way to bring glory to him. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

These 3 reminders, serve us well. How, by showing us where fearless living meets grace. Because of God's love, plans and grace, we don't have to live in fear. We can boldly follow the path He is leading us down. 

Living Fearlessly; My one word for the New Year

If you have known me for any of 2011-2015 you know that have been fearful. God doesn't want me to live in this fear. As I have been journaling (writing Scripture) this month. I have encountered "Do not be afraid". It feels like it has appeared constantly, but I think that is because God wants me to live in freedom.

 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. - Luke 2:10

Living in freedom means not being afraid. 

So before I tell you about what I hope living fearlessly in 2016 looks like. I want to tell you about living in fear.

I accepted a job because I was scared nothing else would come around. That I wouldn't be good enough. I mean, I applied to a job that I thought I would be perfect for and they went with someone else. Without even telling me. 

I have ignored God's voice telling me it is okay to allow others in. Yep, I am a true loner. I would be fine sitting in my apartment all by my lonesome. Ok, that is so not the truth, but it is what I want people to think.

I took a break from my church jobs, yet I still worked on these things, because I didn't want to be replaced. Yep, so break or no break. I didn't rest like I needed. God is pointing out this in my pure exhaustion.

I have ignored God leading me to start my own business.  Except in those moments when I am tired of the toxic work environment, I have grown accustomed to.

All this time, I have yearned for the faith to move, in these areas. Yearned for God's protection if I did move. Yet, I see the holes in the plan and am concerned that God will let me fall through them. So in 2016, I want to live fearlessly.

How am I going to live fearlessly?

1. I am going to work on starting that business. I have an idea, a deadline, and my plan is coming together. When I am exhausted, I know I need to move forward, but can't see how. I have reached that point with this, but I have a plan to work it out while also resting.

2.  I am once again going to take a break from my church duties. Not everything, but I am no longer going to strive to do it all. We were never meant to do it all. God has others who are capable of doing some of the things I do. So I will let them stretch their wings and grow.

3. I am going to let people in. I am still working on this plan. In the past, the plan worked but then fell through because I said yes, but reacted with a no. So I'm working on this, but I am going to try and follow God's lead and let people in, and get out and do stuff as well.

These are the biggies. I hope that you will join me as I try to live 2016 fearlessly. Oh, and if you want to pick one word for your 2016.  It isn't too late. You can do it, check out one word 365 where you can decide to live intentionally and find your one word. If you do I would love to hear your one word.

If you're a blogger, link to your post about your one word, so I can check it out, and help encourage you.

If you want to follow my journey you can subscribe to my blog. I promise to not take advantage but to treat it like I would want mine treated.

Praise God in Song - Dream For You

My life seems to be a fight between dreams and my hope and then it falls to reality. I see just how far off those dreams and hopes are from a reality and that it would take a miracle for me to see them come true. So I have a bad tendency of failing to dream. When I catch myself hoping for things that don't seem to fit, I remind myself that high hopes in my life lead to greater disappointments. 

I didn't make it to church yesterday morning. I hadn't been feeling well and was completely exhausted. I have Stage Hop on the Roku. Since I didn't go to church I was able to replay an old Night of Joy, and I choose to watch the Casting Crown concert. It was from their Thrive CD and I heard a new song. 

As the first Monday Song - I would like to remind you that God has dreams for your life, one that will give you hope. So as we begin living fearlessly, let's dare to say yes to the dreams God has for you. 

Do you have a song or Bible Verse that reminds you to allow God to dream for you?

Happy 2016: For Fresh starts;Start here!

2015 has gone and 2016 is finally here. I have dreaded this moment, I have been excited for this moment; but, it doesn't matter how I feel it is here.

I hope that you made the most of 2015 and if you didn't then don't fear. 2016 is ready for you and God to conquer. This year I plan to live fearlessly. Next week I will explain my thoughts on this in more detail.

As I start the new year I want to let you know what I am changing.

1. Praise God in songs


Every Monday I plan to post a song. Songs lead us to worship God, and He deserves our worship no matter the good or bad that is going on in our life.

2. Weekly Post

My normal end of the week post will continue. It is what pushes me to knowledge, it pushes me to continue. On those days where I want to give up, I want to drop blogging and just walk away, it keeps me accountable. Some may say I'm looking for an audience of 1, God. I seek to please God, but I write for you and me while the numbers may not be my pushing force, I know that there are people out there who need to know how much God loves them. This means that I will keep writing.

3. Scripture Journal - Writing / Drawing through scripture

I am looking forward to adding scripture journaling (writing / drawing). I am still working on how this will look. I hope to learn from the past and help us build a community who can and will learn together. Drawing on the Holy Spirit to lead and teach us. Helping each one of you to learn to hear his voice when he speaks, and in the silence not to give up.

So these are my blogging goals for 2016. Tune in next week for my goals outside of blogging and how I plan to live fearlessly. I hope you will join me and live fearlessly and in God's grace and love as we start this great day.


Meet me in the comments and tell me: What goals are you working on in 2016? What would like to see from Grace 4 Me & U in 2016?

The beginning of a year of rest...

Even before I started this blog I had this huge weight on my shoulders. I was tired, but I needed to extend grace to myself and thought it may benefit others. I really needed grace at that point in my life. You see, it was terrible. I was struggling with God's love for me as well as my love for myself, his creation.

I mean when God was finished creating the world he said it was very good. So I am exactly what he had planned before I was ever born, I am where he knew I would be. Yeah, I disappoint him, heck I disappoint myself every day of this life. In my head I know that God loves me, and that he extends his grace to me. I also know that through Jesus I don't have to carry the shame of where I have been anymore. The problem is in my heart those just feels like words.

So about three weeks ago I approached my pastor and told him that I am exhausted. As my sister says, I am burned out, and she sees it the most as we share an apartment. So she sees me ready to curl up under my desk and cry, or ready to burst out in anger at those around me because they are just putting more pressure on me than I need.

Photo by Spyros Papaspyropoulos

Boy was I wrong.

At the beginning of the year I really felt the word God wanted to work on me this year was free. Yeah I was so very wrong. How about the words, faith and patience. Yep those pretty much ruled my year.

The sad part is it hit me, like running into a wall, just a week ago. How could I have missed it for all these months? Yes, Jesus wants to free me, and he has. The chains I wear of fear don't come from him. But really the chain are from lack of faith and not being patient.

I recently read where faith was defined as love in action. That is where I fail. Faith in the unseen and things hoped for and I fail in the action part. Add in the fact that God keeps telling me to be patient.

The best example of what I am talking about is Abraham and Sarah. In Hebrews we have an awesome review of this story. Hebrews 11:8-12. Abrahm took his faith in what God had promised and set out to follow where God sent him. He went to new places, he laid with his barren wife, in hopes of having a the child he was promised. Faith in action. He isn't the only one to take faith in the unseen, following through on promises with great hope.

Patience is hard, it was never meant to be easy. If patience was easy nobody would need it. Sarah waited years before having her promised child. She even took matters into her own hand and things didn't end so well.

Which reminds me of Psalms 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early, and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. "

Patience helps us appreciate the things we receive more. I dislike being patient, but I look forward to the joy at the end of the waiting. May God pour his blessings down.

Extremely long time

I know it has been an extremely long time since my last post. A lot has happened, sickness for me and my sister. Church duties arose when in my mind I wasn't ready to take them on. I'm still struggling with keeping my focus on God and not allowing Satan to scare me away from this new task.

I still struggle with God's grace, as I start to believe it is sinking in I fall backwards 10 steps and wonder if I am even lovable. Today, I know God loves me, he has great plans for me. Today, I know this.

My sister send me the following quote which is one of my favorites probably because I allow fear to dictate me life. I also have a really bad habit of not letting my light or potential fully shine for fear of making others feel inferior. But in hiding what God has made me, I am hiding the light he has put in me. The light that points back to Him, my great maker.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

Take a note for the day.  Don't fear who God made you. Don't fear that you are inadequate, and most of all don't fear your power. Because God is the one who gives you the power you have. Great power, power to make mountains move both real rocky mountains and figurative little mole hills that you find yourself dealing with every day. So accept your power and know that it points back to the one who created you. So many people in the Bible shouldn't have been able to do what they did, but when they did what God called them to do, it pointed back to Him.  We are still talking about these people (Little David comes to mind immediately).

Thank you Dear Jesus, for creating me not to be my own stumbling block, but as a hill so my light may shine bright. Thank You for allowing my light to shine so brightly it can only point back to You.  Thank You for the power You have put inside of me, the Holy Spirit that guides me. Thank You dear Lord, for desiring to use me. Help me to not shrink back so others don't feel the warmth of Your light, give me courage to be what You have called me to be, and do what You have called me to do. Liberate me from my fear and in doing so may You use me to liberate others from their fear.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

One Word

Oneword365.com presents the idea that we don't need resolutions that we will forget in 3 weeks. Creating lists of "to do", or "not to do" usually don't last long. The challenge is to pick one word that you want to define you and work on that word. I first heard about this and just brushed it off. The reason for such a late start I guess.

Well this week God gave me a word. It is something I have wanted for a while, but never truly defined it. So here I am going to put my word out there.

Free. Yes, I want to be free. So I googled my word to make sure it really was what I wanted. Free is defined on google as an adjective: Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes. Yep! I want to be free.

I know Jesus frees us from our sins, but I want to be free of expectations. Those of myself and others. I want to truly follow Jesus without fear of what others may say or what I feel they will say.

So this year I am going to pray, meditate, and allow God to make me free. When I start to make a decision I am going to not only pray about it, but I am also going to allow God to help me not worry what others may say or think. :-) So I am free.